A Dirty Job Chapter 16

16THE CALL OF BOOTY II lament FOR A FUCK PUPPET glow threw the door open so hard that the little bell went flying run into its be atomic number 18r and tinklight-emitting diode crossways the floor.Oh, jeez, lance furcate. You wont believe it. I cant believe it myself.Lily looked at Ray everywhere her star-half-frame reading glasses and set trim start the French cookbook shed been expression at. She didnt re some(prenominal)y need reading glasses, nevertheless smell everywhere the surpass of them conveyed instant condescension and disdain, a look that she mat up flatte tearing her.I convey someaffair I need to articulate you, too, Lily utter.No, Ray tell, looking around to do incline sure there were no customers in the check into on. What I encounter to tell you is re each(prenominal) toldy important.Okay, Lily state. Mines non that important to me. You go counterbalance.Okay. Ray took a cabalistic breath and launched. I esteem Charlie may be a consequ ent defeater with ninja powers.Wow, that is good, Lily say. Okay, my turn. A Miss Me-So-Horny c on the wholeed for you. She expected you to k direct that shes packing eighter from Decatur inches of luscious man-meat. Lily held up Rays cell ph champion, which hed remaining at a lower place the register.Oh my God, non all over again Ray cradled his head in his hands and devolve against the counter.She said she was tidal bore to sh atomic number 18 it with you. Lily examined her nails. So, Ashers a ninja, huh?Ray looked up. Yes, and hes stalking a pretend along brute from my gym.Think youre living a fat enough fantasy sprightliness, Ray?Shut up, Lily, this is a disaster. My job and my flatbed depend on Charlie, non to mention that he has a kid, and the new light of my life is a guy.No, shes not. Lily wondered ab let let on herself, giving in so early she didnt enjoy anguish Ray the way she used to.Huh? What?Im unsloped fuckin with you, Ray. She didnt c exclusively. I read all of your e-mail and IMs.That stuff is private.Which is why you develop it all here on the stores com invester?I spend a pass around of age here, with the cartridge holder differenceAnd speaking of privacy, whats the deal with Asher be a ninja and a nonparallel killer? I mean, both? At the same time?Ray moved in close, and talked into his collar, as if revealing a huge conspiracy. Ive been plug-in him. Charlies been taking in a lot of stuff from exsanguinous deal. Its by bygone on for age. But hes always having to take off on a moments notice, having me cover his shifts, and he never explains where hes pass, except short after that happens, one of the dead great deals social functions shows up in the shop. So today I followed him, and he was after a muliebrity who goes to my gym, who we cogency beat seen the other day.Lily stepped keep goingward, get over her arms, and looked disgusted with Ray, which was fairly easy, since shed had years of practice. Ray, did it occur to you that Asher handles estates, and that weve been doing oft better military control since he started doing to a greater extent estates that the quality of the merchandise is much higher? believably because he gets there early?I realise, exactly thats not it. Youre not around as much flat, Lily. I was a cop, I notice these involvements. For one thing, did you grapple that there was a homicide detective hold opening tail of Charlie? Thats rectify. Gave me his card, told me to call if anything unusual happened.No, Ray, you didnt.Charlie disappeared, Lily. I was watching him, and he exclusively blinked out of existence, right originally my eyes. And last I saw him he was deviation into the fuck puppets building.Lily essentialed to grab the stapler off the counter and quick drive roughly a nose candy staples into Rays shiny supercilium. You ungrateful fucktard You called the cops on Asher? The guy who has given you a job and a place to go fort h for what, ten years?I didnt call the black-and-whites, exactly this Inspector Rivera. I populate him from when I was on the force. Hell keep it on the d ingest low.Go get your checkbook and your car, Lily barked. Were going to bail him out.He probably hasnt sluice been processed yet, Ray said.Ray, you pathetic toss-beast. Go. Ill close up the store and tarry for you out front.Lily, you cant talk to me that way. I dont have to frame up up with it.Because he couldnt turn his head, Ray wasnt able to avoid the first devil staples Lily put in his forehead, notwithstanding by hencece he had dogged it was outgo to go get his checkbook and his car, and plump for away.Whats a fuck puppet, besides? Lily shouted after him, somewhat surprised at the violent speciality of her loyalty to Charlie.The policewoman fingerprinted Charlie nine times forward she looked up at Inspector Alphonse Rivera and said, This motherfucker got no fingerprints.Rivera took Charlies hand and turned it palm up, and looked at his fingers. I can see the ridges, right there. Hes got completely normal fingerprints.Well, you do it, then, said the woman. Cause alls I got on the card is smooth.Fine, then, Rivera said. shape up with me.He led Charlie over to a wall that had a big prescript painted on it and told him to side a camera.Hows my haircloth? Charlie said.Dont smile.Charlie frowned.Dont become a face. Just look straight in the lead and your hair is fine, though now youve got ink on your forehead. This is not that hard, Mr. Asher, criminals do this all the time.Im not a criminal, Charlie said.You broke into a security building and harassed a teenaged woman, that makes you a criminal.I didnt break into anything and I didnt harass anyone.Well see. Ms. McKerny said you jeopardize her life. Shes definitely going to press charges, and if you ask me, youre both lucky I showed up when I did.Charlie wondered about that. The fuck puppet had started screaming and backed into her f lat, and he had followed her, laborious to explain, trying to figure out how this was going to work, and at the same time paying way too much watchfulness to her rappers.I didnt threaten her.You said she was going to die. Today.Well, they had him there. Charlie had, in all the muddiness and screaming, mentioned that he had to get hold of her breasts because she was going to die today. In retrospect, he matte he probably should have kept that information to himself.Rivera led him upstairs and into a weensy manner with a table and two chairs. Just similar on TV, Charlie looked for a one-way mirror save was disappointed to see just now concrete-block walls painted in easy-clean moss-green e gainl. Rivera had him sit, still then went to the door.Im going to leave you here for a few minutes, until Miss McKerny tot ups down to file charges. Its more hospitable here than the holding cell. You want something to discombobulate?Charlie shook his head. Should I call an attorney?It s up to you, Mr. Asher. Thats certainly your right, plainly I cant advise you one way or another. Ill be back in five. You can make your call then if youd resembling.Rivera leftfield the fashion and Charlie saw the inspectors partner, a gruff, bald-headed bull of a guy named Cavuto, stand up outside the door waiting for him. That guy actually scared Charlie. not as much as the prospect of having to retrieve capital of Wisconsin McKernys breast implants, or what would happen if he didnt, barely unflustered scary.Cut him loose, Cavuto said.What, deoxidise him loose? I just got him processed, the McKerny woman Is dead. confrere shot her, then, when our guys responded to the shots-fired call, did himself.What?Boyfriend was married, McKerny wanted more security and was going to tell the wife. He flipped out.You know all that already?Her neighbor told the uniforms as soon as they arrived. Come on, its our case. We need to roll. Cut this guy loose. Ray Macy and some Goth-chef chi ck are waiting for him downstairs.Ray Macy is the one who called me, he thought Asher was going to kill her.I know. Right crime, wrong guy. Lets go.We still have him on the concealed-weapon charge.A cane with a sword in it? What, you want to go in the lead a judge and tell him that you arrested this guy on suspicion of organism a serial killer but he plea-bargained it down to being a huge fucking nerd?Okay, Ill cut him loose, but Im verbalize you, Nick, this guy told McKerny that she was going to die today. at that places some weird shit going on here.And we dont have enough weird shit to deal with already?Good point, Rivera said.Madison McKerny looked beautiful in her beige silk dress, her hair and organisation perfect, as usual, her diamond-stud earrings and a platinum-diamond solitaire necklace complemented the silver handles of her walnut-burl casket. For someone who wasnt breathing, she was breathtaking, especially for Charlie, who was the except one who could see her hoot ers pulsing red in the casket.Charlie hadnt been to a lot of funerals, but Madison McKernys seemed nice, and fairly well attended for someone who had been only twenty-six. It turned out that Madison had wrenchn up in nerd V path, just outside San Francisco, so a lot of people had cognise her. Evidently, except for her family, most of them had lost touch and seemed somewhat surprised that she had been gunned down by her married boyfriend who had kept her in an high-ticket(prenominal) apartment in the city.Not like you vote most likely for that in the yearbook, Charlie said, trying to make conversation with one of her classmates, a guy hed ended up standing side by side(p) to at the urinals in the mens room.How did you know Madison? said the guy, a condesc termination tone in his voice. He looked like hed been voted most likely to piss everyone off by being rich and having nice hair.Oh, me? Friend of the groom, Charlie said. He zipped up and headed to the sink before hair guy coul d think of something to say.Charlie was surprised to see a few people at the funeral whom he knew, and each time he walked away from one, hed electric discharge into another.First Inspector Rivera, who lied. Had to come. Its our case. Ive gotten to know the family a little.Then Ray, who lied. She went to my gym. I just thought I should pay my respects.Then Riveras partner, Cavuto, who didnt lie. I still think youre kinky, and that goes for your ex-cop friend, too.And Lily, who was also honest. I wanted to see a dead fuck puppet.Whos running the store? Charlie asked.Closed. oddment in the family. You know Ray called the cops on you, right?They hadnt had a chance to talk since Charlie had been passing playd. I shouldve figured, Charlie said.He said he saw you go into the dead chicks building and just disappear. He thinks you have ninja powers. That part of the thing? She bounced her eyebrows a Groucho Marx conspiracy bounce make less effective by the fact that her eyebrows were p encil thin and careworn on in magenta.Yeah, its kind of part of the thing. Ray doesnt suspect about the thing, does he?No, I covered for you. But he still thinks you kinginess be a serial killer.I thought he might be a serial killer.Lily shuddered. God, you guys need to get laid.True, but right now Im here to do a thing regarding the thing.You still havent gotten her thing thing?I cant even figure out how to get it. Her thing is still in the thing. He nodded to the casket.Youre fucked, Lily said.We have to go sit now, Charlie said. He led her into the chapel, where the service was beginning.Behind him Nick Cavuto, who had been standing three feet away with his back to Charlie, do a beeline for his partner and said, Can we just frivol away Asher and retrieve cause later? Im sure the fuckers through something to deserve it.Charlie didnt know what he was going to do, how he was going to retrieve the intelligence implants, but he authentically thought something would occur to h im. Some supernatural ability would manifest itself at the last minute. He thought that all through the ceremony. He thought that when they closed the casket, during the funeral procession to the cemetery, and all through the graveside ceremony. He began to lose hope as the mourners dispersed and the casket was lowered, and by the time the ground crew started throwing dirt down the hole with a backhoe, hed middling much given up on having an idea.There was grave robbing, but that really wasnt an idea, was it? And even with his years of experience in the death-dealing dividing line, Charlie didnt think he was up for breaking into a cemetery, sp last all nighttime dig up a casket, then cutting the implants out of a dead womans body. It wasnt the same as swiping a vase off the mantel. Why couldnt Madison McKernys someone be in a vase on the mantel?Didnt get the thing, then, said a voice beside him.Charlie turned to see Inspector Rivera standing not a foot away. He hadnt even seen him since theyd left the funeral lieu.What thing?Yeah, what thing? Rivera said. They didnt bury her with those diamonds you saw, you know that, right?That would have been a shame, Charlie said.Sisters got them, Rivera said. You know, Charlie, most people dont stay to watch them actually cover the box.Really? Charlie said. I was just curious. See if they used shovels or what. How about you?Me? Im watching you. You ever get over that thing with the storm sewers?Oh, that? I just needed a little adjustment in my medication. It was an expression that Charlie had picked up from Jane. She wasnt actually on medication, but the excuse seemed to work for her.Well, you keep an eye on that, Charlie. And Ill keep an eye on you. Adios. Rivera walked off.Adios, Inspector, Charlie said. Hey, by the way, nice suit.Thanks, I bought it from your store, Rivera said without bout around.When was he in my store? Charlie thought.For the next couple of weeks Charlie felt as if someone had dialed his nerv ous system up bypast the recommended voltage and he was nearly vibrating with anxiety. He thought that perhaps he should call Minty Fresh, discourage him of his failure to retrieve Madison McKerneys soul vessel, but if the sewer harpies werent revolt because of that, maybe the contact with another Death Merchant would put them over the top. Instead he kept Sophie home and make sure that she was never out of sight of the hellhounds. In fact, he kept the hellhounds locked in her room most of the time otherwise they kept dragging him to his day planner, which had no new names. Only the overdue Madison McKerny and the two women Esther Johnson and Irena Posokovanovich who had appeared on the same day, but still had some time left before expiration or whatever you called it.So he started his walks again, listening as he passed storm drains and manhole covers, but the unlightedness didnt appear to be rising.Charlie felt naked walking the street without his sword-cane, which Rivera h ad kept, so he set out to replace it, and in the process found two more Death Merchants in the city. He found the first at a used-book store in the perpetration, Book em Danno. Well, it wasnt really a bookstore anymore it still had a couple of tall cases of books, but the rest of the store was a bricolage of bric-a-brac, from plumbing fittings to football helmets. Charlie understood completely how it happened. You started with a bookstore, then you made a single innocent trade, a set of bookends for a first edition maybe, then another, you picked up a grab-all box at a yard sale to get one item pretty soon you had a whole section of unmatched crutches and obsolete radio tubes, and couldnt for the life of you remember how youd acquired a bear trap, yet there it was, next to the lime-green tutu and the Armadrillo penis pump reciprocal ohmhand out of hand. In the back of the store, by the counter, stood a bookcase in which every volume was pulsing with a heavy red light.Charlie t ripped over a spittoon and caught himself on an elk-antler coatrack.You okay? asked the proprietor, looking up from the book he was reading. He was maybe sixty, skin fuck from too much sun, but he hadnt seen any in a while and hed gone pasty. He had long, thinning gray hair and wore large bifocals that gave him the look of an educated turtle.No, Im fine, Charlie said, ripping his gaze off the soul-vessel books.I know its a little cluttered in here, the turtle guy said. Ive been heart and soul to clear it out, but then, Ive been meaning to clear it out for thirty years and I havent managed it yet.Its okay, I like your store, Charlie said. Great selection.The owner looked at Charlies expensive suit and shoes and squinted. It was clear he recognized the worth of the habiliments and was qualifying Charlie as a rich collector or antiques hunter. You looking for anything special? he asked.Sword-cane, Charlie said. Doesnt have to be antique. He wanted to secure this guy a coffee and share stories of snatching soul objects, of confronting the Underworlders, of being a Death Merchant. This guy was a kindred spirit, and from the size of his collection of soul objects, all of them books, hed been doing this longer than Minty Fresh.Turtle guy shook his head. cave innt seen one for years. If you want to give me a card, Ill put out timberers for you.Thanks, Charlie said. Ill keep looking. Thats part of the fun. He started backing down the aisle, but he couldnt leave without saying something else, acquiring some kind of information. Hey, how is it, doing business in this neighborhood?Better now than it used to be, said the guy. The gangs have settled down some, this part of the Mission has turned into the edgy, artsy-fartsy neighborhood. Thats been good for business. You from the City?Born and orderd, Charlie said. Just havent been to this neighborhood much. You havent had any weird stuff on the street last couple of weeks, then?The turtle guy looked in full at Ch arlie now, even took off his lusus naturae glasses. Except for the thumper respectable systems going by, quiet as a mouse. Whats your name?Charlie. Charlie Asher. I live over in the North Beach Chinatown area.Im Anton, Charlie. Anton Dubois. tenuous meeting you.Okay, Charlie said. I have to go now.Charlie. Theres a pawnshop off Fillmore Street. Fulton and Fillmore, I think. The owner carries a lot of edged weapons. She might have your cane.Thanks, Charlie said. You watch yourself, Anton. Okay?Always do, said Anton Dubois, and he looked back to his book.Charlie left the store touch sensation even more anxious, but not kind of as alone as he had five minutes before. The next day, he found a new sword-cane at the pawnshop in the Fillmore, and he also found a case of cutlery and kitchen utensils that pulsated with red light. The owner was younger than Anton Dubois, late thirties maybe, and wore a.38 revolver in a shoulder holster, which shocked Charlie less than the fact that she was a woman. Hed envisioned all the Death Merchants as being men, but of course there was no reason to think that. She wore jeans and a plain chambray shirt, but was dripping with uneven jewelry that Charlie guessed was a self-indulgence she justified for being in the business the same way he justified his expensive suits. She was pretty in a lady-cop sort of way, with a nice smile, and Charlie found himself wondering if he should maybe ask her out, then heard an audible pop in his head as that bubble of self-destructive stupidity exploded. Sure, dinner and a movie, and go off the Forces of Darkness on the world. Great first date. Everyone was right, he really needed to get laid.He bought the sword-cane for cash, without quibbling, and left the store without engaging the owner in conversation, but he took a business card from the holder on the counter as he left. Her name was Carrie Lang. It was all he could do to not warn her, tell her to be careful of what might be coming from be low, but he agnize that every second he was there, he was probably increasing the danger to all of them. image yourself, Carrie, he whispered to himself as he walked away.That evening he decided to take action to ease some of the tension in his life. Or at least it was decided for him when Jane and her girlfriend Cassandra showed up at the apartment and offered to watch Sophie.Go, find a woman, Jane said. I got the kid.It doesnt work that way, Charlie said. I was gone all day, I havent spent any quality time with my daughter.Jane and Cassandra an athletic, winsome redhead in her midthirties, who Charlie promised himself he would have asked out if she hadnt been living with his baby pushed him out the door, slammed it in his face, and locked it.Dont come home until youve gotten some, Jane shouted over the transom.Does that work for you? Charlie shouted back. Just go find someone to do you, like a scavenger hunt?Heres five hundred dollars. Five hundred dollars works for anyone. A wad of bills came flying over the transom, followed by his cane, a sport coat, and his wallet.This is my money, isnt it? Charlie shouted.Its you that needs to get laid, Jane shouted back. Go. Dont come back until youve done the dance of the beast with two backs.I could just lie.No, you cant, Cassie said. She had a sweet voice, like youd want her to tell you a bedtime story. The desperation pull up stakes still show in your eyes. And I mean that in a nice way, Charlie.Sure, how else could I take it?Bye, Daddy, Sophie said from the other side of the door. Have fun.JaneRelax, she just came in. Go.So Charlie, thrown out of his own home, by his own sister, said good-bye to the daughter he adored and went out to find a total stranger with whom to be intimate.Just a rub down, Charlie said.Okay, said the girl as she arranged oils and lotions on a ledge. She was Asian, but Charlie couldnt tell from where in Asia, maybe Thailand. She was petite and had black hair that hung down past her wai st. She wore a red silk kimono with a chrysanthemum de indicate. She never looked him in the eye.Really, Im just tense. I dont want anything but a completely ethical and hygienic massage, just like it says on the sign. Charlie stood at the end of a narrow cubicle, fully dressed, with a massage table on one side of him and the masseuse and her shelf of oils on the other.Okay, said the girl.Charlie just looked at her, unsure of what to do next. attire off, said the girl. She placed a clean white towel on the massage table near Charlie, nodded to it, then turned her back. Okay?Okay, Charlie said, feeling now that he was here, he needed to go through with it. Hed pay the woman at the door fifty dollars for the massage, after which she made him sign a release that stated that all he was getting was a massage, that tipping was encouraged, but did not imply any services beyond a massage, and that if he thought that he was getting anything but a massage he was going to be one disappointed White Devil. She made him initial each of the six languages it was printed in, then she winked, a long sulky wink, exaggerated by very long false eyelashes, and performed the internationally recognized blow-job mime, with round mouth and rhythmic tongue pushing out the cheek. white lily Flower make you bery relax, Mr. Macy.Charlie had signed Rays name, not so much as a small revenge for calling the cops on him, but because he thought the management might recognize Rays name and give him a discount.He kept his boxers on and climbed on the table, but sacred lotus Flower slipped them off him as deftly as a whiz pulling a scarf from his sleeve. She draped a towel over his bottom and dropped her kimono. Charlie saw it fall and glanced back to see a tiny, seminaked woman rubbing oil on her palms to warm it. He looked away and slammed his forehead into the table several times even as he felt his erection struggling for clean-handeddom beneath him.My sister made me come here, he said . I didnt want to come.Okay, she said.She rubbed the oil into his shoulders. It smelled of almonds and sandalwood. There must have been menthol or lavender or something in it, because he felt it vibration on his skin. Every place she touched hurt. Like hed dug a ditch to Ecuador the day before, or pulled a barge across the verbalise with a rope. It was like she had special sensory powers, she could find the exact spot where he carried his pain, then touch it, release it. He moaned, just a little.Bery tense, she said, working her fingers up his spine.I havent slept well in two weeks, he said.That nice. She reached across to work his rib cage and he felt her small breasts press against his back. He stop breathing for a second and she giggled.Bery tense, she said.I had this thing happen at work. Well, not at work, but Im xenophobic I did something that could put everyone I know in danger, and I cant make myself do what needs to be done to fix it. People could die.That nice, said Lot us Flower, kneading his biceps.You dont speak English, do you?Oh. Little. No worries. You want happy ending?Charlie smiled. Can you just keep rubbing?No happy ending? Okay. Twenty dollar, fifteen minute.So Charlie paid her, and talked to her, and she rubbed his back, and he paid her again, and he told her all the things that he couldnt share with other people all the worries, all the fears, all the regrets. He told her of how he missed Rachel, yet how sometimes he would forget what she looked like and would run to the dresser in the middle of the night to look at her photo. He paid her for two hours in advancement and dozed off, feeling her hands on his skin, and he dreamed of Rachel and sex, and when he woke up Lotus Flower was massaging his temples and tears were running into his ears. He told her it was the menthol in the oil, but it was the lonely coming up in him, like the pain in his back that he hadnt known hed had until it was touched.She massaged his chest, reaching over h is head and let her breasts rub against his face as she worked, and when he rose again under the towel, she asked, You want happy ending now?Nah, he said. Happy endings are so Hollywood. Then he caught her wrists, sat up, kissed the back of her hands, and thanked her. He canted her a hundred dollars. She smiled, put on her kimono, and left the cubicle.Charlie dressed and left the Happy Relax Good Time Oriental Massage Parlor, which he had walked by a thousand times during his life, always wondering what was prat the red door with brown paper taped over the window. now he knew the pathetic puddle of lonely frustration that was Charlie Asher, for whom there would be no happy ending.He made his way up to Broadway and headed up the hill into North Beach. He was only a few blocks from home when he sensed someone behind him. He turned, but all he saw was a guy a couple of blocks back buying a newspaper from a machine. He walked another half block and could see the activity on the stree t up ahead tourists out walking, waiting for tables in Italian restaurants, barkers trying to lure tourists into take apart clubs, sailors barhopping, hipsters smoking outside of City Lights bookstore, looking cool and literary before the next poetry slam, which would go off in a bar across the street.Hey, soldier, a voice at his side. A womans voice, easy and sexy. Charlie turned and looked down the roadway he was passing. He could see a woman in the shadows, leaning against the wall. She was clothing an iridescent body stocking or something and a mercury light at the other end of the skittle way was drawing a silver outline of her figure. The hair rose on his neck, but he felt something twinge in his loins as well. This was his neighborhood, and the hookers had been calling to him since he was twelve, but this was the first time hed ever stopped and paid more attention than a wave and a smile.Hey, Charlie said. He felt dizzy drunk or stoned maybe all the toxins had broken loose from the long massage, but he had to lean on his cane to steady himself.She stepped away from the wall and the light silhouetted her, highlighting ine pinant curves. Charlie realized he was grinding his teeth and his right kneecap began to bounce. This was not the street-worn body of a junkie a dancer maybe, a goddess.Sometimes, she said, utter the last s, a rough fuck down a dark alley is the best medicine for a weary warrior.Charlie looked around the political party a block ahead, the guy reading his newspaper under the streetlamp two blocks back. No one down the alley waiting to ambush him.How much? he asked. He couldnt even remember what sex felt like, but all he could think about right now was release a rough fuck down a dark alley with thisthis goddess. He couldnt see her face, just the line of a cheekbone, but that was exquisite.The frolic of your company, she said.Why me? Charlie said, he couldnt help himself it was his Beta nature.Come find out, she said. She c upped her breasts, fell back against the wall, and propped one heel up on the bricks. Come.He walked into the alley and leaned the cane on the wall, then took her uplifted knee in one hand, a breast in the other, and pulled her against him for a kiss. She felt like she was wearing velvet, her mouth was warm and tasted base, gamy, like venison or liver. He didnt even feel her undo his jeans, just a concentrated hand on his erection.Ah, strong meat, she hissed.Thanks, Ive been going to the gym.She bit his neck, hard, and he squeezed her breast and thrust against her hand. She threw her uplifted leg around his back and pulled him hard against her. He felt something sharp, painful barb into his scrotum and he tried to pull away. She pulled him tighter with her leg. She was incredibly strong.New Meat, she said. Dont fight me or Ill tear them off.Charlie felt the pair of tweezers on his balls and the breath caught in his throat. Her face was an inch from his now, and he looked for her e yes, but could see only an obsidian blackness reflecting the highlights from the streetlight.She held her free hand in front of his face and he watched as claws began to grow out of her fingertips, reflecting the streetlight like brushed chrome, until they were three inches long. She poised them over his eyes and he reached for his sword-cane against the wall. She knocked it away, and the claws were at his face again.Oh no, Meat. Not this time. She hooked a claw into his nostril. Shall I drive it into your brain? That would be quickest, but I dont want quick. Ive waited so long for this.She released the pressure on his balls, and to his horror, he realized that he was still hard. She started rubbing his erection, pushing the claw deeper into his nose to hold him steady. I know, I know when you come, Ill put it in your ear and yank. Ive interpreted off a half a mans head that way. Youll like it. Youre lucky, if Nemain had been send youd be dead already.Bitch, Charlie managed to say. She was stroking him harder and he was cursing his body for betraying him this way. He tried to pull away and her leg wrapped behind him busted the breath out of him. No, you come, then Ill kill you.She pulled the claw from his nose and put it next to his ear. Dont make me leave unsatisfied, Meat, she said, but in that instant her claw caught the side of his scalp and he hit her as hard as he could in the ribs with both of his fists.You fuckface she shrieked. She let her leg fall yanked him excursion by his penis, and reared back for a full slash of her claws to his head. Charlie tried to raise his forearm to take the blow, but then there was an explosion and a piece of her shoulder splattered on the wall, spinning her around.Charlie felt her release his penis, and he threw himself across the alley. She rebounded off the wall with both claws aimed at his face. There was another explosion and she was knocked back again. This time she came up facing the street, and before she could brace to leap, two more shots hit her in the chest and she screeched, the sound like a thousand angry ravens set afire.Five more quick shots and she was danced backward by the impacts even as she went she was changing, her arms getting wider, her shoulders smoothing. Two more shots, and the next screech wasnt even remotely human, but that of a huge raven. She rose into the night sky trailing feathers and splutter a liquid that might have been blood, except that it was black.Charlie climbed to his feet and staggered out of the alley to where Inspector Alphonse Rivera was still in shooting stance, holding a 9 mm Beretta aimed at the dark sky.Do I even want to know what the fuck that was? Rivera said.Probably not, Charlie said.Tie your coat around your waist, said the cop.Charlie looked down and saw that the front of his jeans had been shredded as if by razors.Thanks, Charlie said.You know, Rivera said, this could have all been avoided if youd just taken the happy ending like everybod y else.